Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!

Dec. 17th, 2025 08:15 am
kantayra: (Default)
[personal profile] kantayra
I am late this week, which I attribute mostly to being a lazy slug. Where my definition of 'lazy' consists of 'I had a competition last weekend', which went very well! My synchro team now has a base IJS score that we can improve upon! 😊 In other news, I continue to have zero energy, even though the weather has warmed up. These short days are just killing my motivation this year. This week is the last week I'm working until after New Years, and I should be looking forward to my vacation, but nope! I'm just relieved that I get to stop trying to care about work. So...yeah. I'm just not doing a great job at anything at the moment.

Here's what's the what:

  • Exchanges due in November/December ([community profile] fffx, [community profile] ficinabox part deux, [community profile] yuletide_admin + mystery pinch-hits and treats + future sign-ups): I'm now at 6/7, YT is done, woo-hoo! That means FFFX is all I have left, and my goal is to write 3k on that a week until it's done, too. I've also been doing lots of reading/commenting on FIAB, but I may have hit my stamina limit on that, which makes me sad, but it is what it is. Hopefully, I'll get at least one more burst to look at some cool things!

  • Exchanges due in January/February: [personal profile] candyheartsex nominations just opened, and I threw in my usual suspects - I will definitely be doing this one again, and hope I get some energy back for treating! [community profile] au5k, I'm pretty sure I'm skipping at this point. [community profile] highadrenalineexchange doesn't open nominations for a bit; waffling on whether I'll want to sign up for this one or not.

  • Nope, nothing new on Femslash Salad Bar...

  • BNHA: I'm finished! *sniff sniff* Also, I watched almost all the movies/OVAs now, I should finish this week. This fandom has eaten my brain again, and if I have extra time, I might just write some fics in it for...fun? Like, not in an exchange? Whoa! 😝

  • The Deer and the Cauldron by Louis Cha - Not much progress on this, since I'm a slug. I'll have more reading time when I'm on vacation.

  • Dear Door - Not much progress on this either, see above.

  • White Rural Rage: The Treat to American Democracy by Thomas Schaller - Finished, well enough written, but nothing new or insightful that I hadn't heard before, and no real practical solutions, either. Meh?


Goals for next week: 1) 3k of FFFX. 2) Finish movies/OVAs for BNHA. 4) Resume reading things, now that I'll have some break time.

This and that and history

Dec. 16th, 2025 07:02 pm
selenak: (Schreiben by Poisoninjest)
[personal profile] selenak
Watched completely on Apple +: Down Cemetery Road, a new series (I would have written miniseries, except I hear there'll be a second season), based on an earlier novel by Slow Horses author Mick Heron. Starring Emma Thompson and Ruth Wilson, both cast somewhat against type and having fun with it. Emma Thompson plays Zoe, a cynical private detective right out of the hard boiled age, if that one had female cynical hard drinking PI's, Ruth Wilson plays Sarah, starting out as somewhat naive, idealistic and disorganized. (I have seen Ruth Wilson in roles where she isn't a brilliant sociopath before! I swear I did! But Alice and Marisa Coulter are just so memorable!) Zoe starts out the story married, to another P.I. who is more the benevolent goodshoe type and whom she has feelings for but cheats on and generally argues a lot with, while Sarah is with a guy hiding total jerkness between a placid facade, but before the pilot is over, neither of these relationships are existent anymore. Both women - who live in Oxford, not London, which is a change, but the action doesn't stay there - through different ways find themselves uncovering the central dastardly plot which unsurprising given the author the show is based on involves fuck-ups by awful government agencies and the attempt to cover this up which leads to an ever higher body count. The Zoe and the Sarah storylines after a brief meeting in the pilot stay apart for half the season, and I was about to complain, but then the second half reunites them and gives me these actresses playing superbly against each other. If I have one complaint, it's that there wasn't really a pay-off for the existence of Talia the new defense secretary. But presumably in the second season?

Started to watch and stopped watching: Gunpowder on Amazon Prime. Look, show, two podcasts managed to turn me around on James VI and I and got me interested in Stuarts beyond the Restoration era, I'm in the market for this ! I'm also with you pointing out Catholics got a truly rough deal in the late Elizabethan and in the James era. But Kit Harrington brooding as Robert Catesby isn't going to cut it, and who does Mark Gatiss as Robert Cecil think he's playing, Shakespeare's Richard III?

Started watching, may or may not continue: The Name of the Rose, new tv version on Disney +. I mean, if there is an early 1980s novel begging for the miniseries treatment, it's absolutely that one, the OG Murders at a Monastery story. I would have thought a mniseries could offer the chance to include a lot more from the novel than the movie was able to, but foolish me, the show creators instead thought they needed some adiditional subplots. Adson now starts out as not really a novice, though he wants to be, because his father wants him with the imperial army instead. That's right, he now has Daddy Issues. (This is where you can tell there must be some American money involved.) William of Baskerville, aka the cleverest Holmes avatar in another setting before House, is played by John Turturro, who doesn't look anymore like the (reddish blonde) William of the book than Sean Connery did but does a decent job playing him. Somewhat unsurprisingly, like the movie, the series beefs up the part of Bernard(o) Gui. Who in the book shows up only in the second half and leaves again long before the big showdown, but Jean-Jacques Annoud already decided he didn't want an evil inquistor going to waste, but apparantly so did the creators of this one, so while Gui still doesn't arrive in the monastery before half point, we see him being evil and fanatical en route in every freaking episode. Did I mention there are new subplots? About which Adson, who is our narrator (voiced as an old man by Peter Davison, omg, that was a nice surprise), can't know?

More spoilery observations for the first part of the series )

Incidentally, the excellent podcast History of the Germans (currently in its "Fall and Rise of the House of Habsburg" season where the family with the famous chin and lower lip first seemingly hits rock bottom in three generations before young Maximilian marries Marie of Burgundy) did a great episode last year about the actual political and theological background of the rl events The Name of the Rose touches on, hilariously summarized as "Der Kurverein zu Rhens - starring William of Ockham and the cast of the Name of the Rose". You can listen to it or read the transcript here.

The January Meme Strikes Back

Dec. 15th, 2025 07:17 pm
selenak: (Default)
[personal profile] selenak
Pick a date below and give me a topic, and I'll ramble on. I'm good at talking. It can be anything from fandom-related (specific characters, actors, storylines, episodes, which Disney Marvel shows are my faves and why, why the world should give the Tudors a rest and make a Stuarts era show or several instead, which 18th century ladies need their own series, etc.) to life-related to favorite tea brands to whatever you want.

They will probably be brief, or not, depending on the subject. Also, I reserve the right to decline prompts that I don't feel equipped to meet.

Topics: you can get an idea from my tags/from the stuff I usually ramble about/from things you maybe wish I talked about more but don't. Also, please feel free to check out the 2025 meme,  the 2024 meme,  the 2023 January meme, the2022 January meme, the 2021 January Meme, the January Meme: 2020 Edition, the 2019 one, the 2018 meme, the 2017 edition , and the 2016 January meme to see which topics I've written about in past years.



January 1 -

January 2 - Five places everyone should visit in Germany ([personal profile] redfiona99)

January 3 - Which incarnations of the Doctor would get on best with which Starfleet Captains of Star Trek? ([personal profile] lightofdaye)

January 4 -

January 5 - Favourite Hiking Spots around Munich ([personal profile] mildred_of_midgard)

January 6 -

January 7 - Six favourite platonic relationships in the MCU ([personal profile] itsnotmymind)

January 8 -

January 9 - Something about the Brontes ([personal profile] sajia_kabir)

January 10 -

January 11 -

January 12 -

January 13 -

January 14 -

January 15 -

January 16 -

January 17 -

January 18 -

January 19 -

January 20 -

January 21 -

January 22 -

January 23 -

January 24 -

January 25 -

January 26 -

January 27 -

January 28 -

January 29 -

January 30 -

January 31 -

Wake up, Dead Man! (Film Review)

Dec. 14th, 2025 10:02 am
selenak: (KircheAuvers - Lefaym)
[personal profile] selenak
Aka the third Benoit Blanc mystery plotted and directed by Rian Johnson. Now, each of these movies has a main character who is not Blanc whose fate and/or motivation to solve the mystery is at the heart of the story - Martha in Knives Out and Helen in Glass Onion respectively - and in this case it's Father Jud, played (well and movingly) by Josh O'Connor. In each case, the movie's structure harks back to the classic age of detective mysteries with various twists and turns and a grand denouemonet while also commenting on the here and now in its social satire. If Glass Onion among other things went for the tech bros and the self satisfied "disruptors", Wake up, Dead Man! is very much about the US under the Orange Menace despite his name not mentioned even once. And lo and behold - it even offers hope. And hey, there is even a Star Wars gag. (Just for the record, I still stand by The Last Jedi being the only one of the sequel movies which actually tries to do something new and creative with the franchise. #RianJohnsonwasRight . The gag has nothing to do with that at all, though.)

Vague spoilers have to offer from their own free will in order for it to mean something )

Pluribus 1.07

Dec. 12th, 2025 01:25 pm
selenak: (Jimmy and Kim)
[personal profile] selenak
In which we get a crossover between a Werner Herzog movie and a Robert Altmann one.

Manousos or the Wrath of God… )

The Return (Film Review)

Dec. 11th, 2025 10:04 am
selenak: (Livia by Pixelbee)
[personal profile] selenak
Yes, about a year after it was released in the English speaking world, The Return finally made it to German cinemas, thus still arriving before Christopher Nolan's big budget take on the Odyssey next year. Like many another person, I assume sight unseen that Nolan's take will be pretty much the opposite, given that The Return focuses exclusively on, well, the story of the suitors harrassing Penelope and Telemachus and Odysseuys' return to Ithaca with ensueing consequences, has thrown out the Gods and any other magical elements entirely from the story and takes place solely on Ithaca within a few days with a small ensemble of characters. (Incidentally, the "Penelope and Telemachus on Ithaca/ The Homecoming" part of the story actually is the main tale of the Homeric epic, which reliably surprises everyone who reads it. The adventures with Sirens, Cyclops and Sea Monsters part is contained in the middle where Odysseus (not the most reliable narrator under the best of circumstances) is narrating it to his hosts and a relatively short portion of the story.) All this being said, having now watched it, I would call The Return a good movie with some stellar performances by our leads - Juliette Binoche and Ralph Fiennes uniting their actory prowess for the third time - , but that it fails in one important regard as an adaptation of the Odyssey, and no, it's not because there are no Gods and other supernatural beings around. But again: as a film, it is great and immensely watchable.

Tell me, Muse, about a PTSD ridden war veteran and an island under occupation )

Happy FIAB Week!

Dec. 8th, 2025 08:49 am
kantayra: (Default)
[personal profile] kantayra
FIAB has revealed, and I am so excited! In another news, I had both of my skating exhibitions Saturday, and they both went really well! This coming weekend I have a synchro competition, and then I get to chill until end of February when, once again, all my competitions are on the same weekend. 😕 But that's a long way off: on to fun stuff!

  • Exchanges due in November/December ([community profile] fffx, [community profile] ficinabox part deux, [community profile] yuletide_admin + mystery pinch-hits and treats + future sign-ups): I'm still at 5/7, so YT did not in fact get done last week, and I'm running out of time. So it really better get done this week, hadn't it? I did do all my FIAB editing, and I read and commented on all my gifts (lovely! see below), and I'm now reading my way through the collection, since I love weird mediums, so this is one of my top yearly exchanges and I want to comment widely. So much good stuff, and so creative!

  • Check out these AMAZING gifts I received for FIAB! 😍

    • Juan Corrida Murder Trial Megathread: Day 2 - Ace Attorney, with some Phoenix/Edgeworth stanning, but more importantly the most INCREDIBLE Reddit audience reaction to the Matt Engarde trial livestream. Seriously, this is fantastic and so well done!

    • the desert winter - Far From Any Road - Handsome Family (Song), filk with further verses of the song. OMG, this author had meter down. This is also really well done!

    • [Art] Fig. 8. Megafauna of the Southern Hemisphere - Original Work for 'Really Mega Megafauna', and it is gorgeous! The far future city, and the cute giant rhinos, and all the dinosaurs and giant birds! Also, be sure to check out the artist's replies to the comments, because their headcanons about this world are SO COOL! I want an entire sci-fi novel of this world, seriously.

    • [Art] Silent Sand - Far From Any Road - Handsome Family (Song), absolutely gorgeous art of the song, OMG, it's so beautiful I don't even know where to begin! And the art fits the horror-y vibes so well!

    • [Art] Excerpts from 'Field Guide to Woodgeists' (Interlibrary Loan) - Original Work for 'Forest Spirit', and OMG: I got pottery! 😍 The woodgeist is super SUPER cute and really well rendered, holy shit! And I love the field-guide notes around the pictures, too. This is just adorable, and I've been showing it to everyone I know, and now I want woodgeists to exist SO MUCH!

    • AA, Yelp, and Other Noises of Surprise - Ace Attorney, some Phoenix/Edgeworth, but also lots of other great worldbuilding stuff too. Yelp reviews for all the various locations in the AA games are exactly as funny to read as you'd think they would be, and this author ran with the humor and puns perfectly, and I am in love with this fic, too!

    Anyway, Sunday was absolute madness when I kept opening one gift, thinking "Okay, this one was SO GOOD that I should brace myself for disappointment for the others" but then every single subsequent gift was JUST AS GOOD, and my mind was officially blown! I have no idea how many different creators I have, whether it's one super-talented person or many, but in any case I SUPER lucked out! I am still pretty incoherent: Every time I think about how good one gift was and go back to it, I see another one, and then I get obsessed with that one again, and it's a whole vicious cycle. A WONDERFUL vicious cycle! ❤️❤️❤️

  • Exchanges that will go into 2026: [community profile] au5k & [community profile] highadrenalineexchange. I'll take a look at the sign-ups for AU5K, but I'm pretty sure I'll treat rather than to sign-up myself.

  • Nope, nothing new on Femslash Salad Bar...

  • BNHA: I'm through 8x09, so I just need to watch last week's episode. I do want to watch some of the movies/OVAs this week, too. I'd like to finish all the odds and ends of this canon this year, to have a tidy start to 2026. Still really enjoying it, though! (Especially Bakugo crying. 🤣)

  • I also watched Raya and the Last Dragon this week, which I picked up from the library in case I had to pick up lingering PHs, which I did not, so I can disclose! It was actually a fun, cute movie! I've been meh on most of the recent Disney movies I've seen, so I was skeptical, but this one won me over and I quite enjoyed it! So thank you to the person requesting it, and who knows, maybe I'll write something for it sometime in the future.

  • The Deer and the Cauldron by Louis Cha - I'm still reading my way through this, and would like to be done by New Year, but it is quite long (and I'm otherwise quite busy). Still enjoying the non-harem parts!

  • Dear Door - I read a bunch on this last week. And it might actually be going in some vaguely interesting and/or surprising plot or characterization directions? Not sure, but there's still plenty of porn, in any case!

  • And now for something COMPLETELY different: I've also gotten out of the library White Rural Rage: The Treat to American Democracy by Thomas Schaller, which I heard about eons ago and put in my backlog in hopes that it will offer some insight into WTF is going on. So far it's all stuff that I pretty much know, although there are some interesting statistics. I'm cruising through it, though, so I'll definitely finish this week (maybe even this evening). And it's kind of nice to take a break from all the fiction I've been reading for some non-fiction, like it resets my brain or something, lol.


Goals for next week: 1) Finish YT for real this time! 2) Read/Comment on cool FIAB stuff! 3) This week's ep of BNHA. 4) Read things!
selenak: (Romans by Kathyh)
[personal profile] selenak
More than a decade ago, the tv show Spartacus was a guilty pleasure of mine. I started watching because BtVS and AtS alumnus Steven DeKnight was the showrunner (since then, he's also gathered additional geek cred with the first season of the Netflix Daredevil), and kept watching because as gory and pulpy and trashy as it was, it (after a bad pilot) turned into something compulsively watchable, with interesting characters galore, complicated relationships and good acting. You can read my review of the first season and the prequel season here, of the second season here, and of the third and final season here.

Now a spin-off of said show has just started (in my part of the world, you can watch it on Amazon Prime, but this seems to be different in different countries - like the original show, it gets shown on STARZ in the US) with the first two episodes released. I was alerted to this a few months ago when Steven DeKnight entertainingly shot down the whiny "Woke!" complaints by the usual suspects that started as soon as the first pics were released, showing, OMG, a black woman in a central role among the cast. (Given the original show had several prominent female characters, some of which were poc, and also had canon on screen important m/m relationships, and of course had at its central subject a slave revolt, it beats me why anoyne familiar with said original show should have assumed the show creators being inclined towards the Orance Menace type of entertainment and (lack of) ethos beats me, but there we are. Anyway, the premise of the show per se didn't feel like a must watch to me (more about this later), and I might have hesitated given all the Darth Real Life stuff dodging me, but all the indignation of ignorant fanatics definitely worked as great advertisement. What is the premise? Basically a canon AU, with the title of the spin-off: "Spartacus: House of Ashur" being a giveaway. I.e. it shows what would have happened if one of the original show's villains hadn't spoiler for the original show ) - what would have to Ashur, personally, that is, since everything else that happened in the third season of the original show still did happen in the canon AU which starts in what sounds like not even a year after the original show ended. While Ashur had been a good and entertaining villain, I hadn't exactly yearned for a "What if?" about him, yet, see above, external circumstances plus the fact the show really HAD been compulsive watching for me made me tune in and check out the first two episodes.

Gratitude! )

Pluribus 1.06

Dec. 5th, 2025 06:11 pm
selenak: (Baltar by Nyuszi)
[personal profile] selenak
In which I had to google this week's celebrity cameo because his fame had eluded me in my corner of the world for now, but I was amused by the rest, and felt for Carol.

Spoilers have Zoom-calls twice a week )

(no subject)

Dec. 4th, 2025 08:47 pm
badfalcon: (I Need A Hug)
[personal profile] badfalcon
 Had therapy today and genuinely spent the entire morning ping-ponging between my desk and the loo like some anxious Victorian ghost with an upset stomach. Cramps, nausea, everything. By the time the appointment actually rolled around I was so stressed I was pretty sure I was going to throw up.

And when I told my therapist all this, she just looked at me and said, “and yet you’re still here.”
Like. That anxious, that many physical symptoms, feeling that sick - and I still showed up. I still came to the appointment. Even though I hate being on video. Even though every fibre of my body was screaming nope-nope-nope.

She was genuinely proud of me. She said so many people don’t make it to therapy at all because the anxiety walls them off before they get there. And I just… cried. Because I was sitting there saying how much I hated all of this, how miserable and scary it feels, but also that I knew I could get past it again. I’ve done it before. I can do it again. Even when it feels impossible.

We talked a lot about how many “micro-tasks” actually make up a single win - and how fast the brain erases them. Like we say, “yeah, I went to work today,” but we don’t acknowledge the twenty-seven terrifying steps inside that.

Like:

  • waking up, feeling dread punch you in the stomach
  • choosing not to call in sick
  • untangling yourself from blankets that suddenly feel like the only safe place on earth
  • dragging yourself upright, grounding through dizziness
  • dealing with the whole stomach situation
  • brushing teeth with shaky hands
  • picking clothes (harder than astrophysics)
  • eating something, taking meds, checking the time
  • finding your keys/phone/badge like you’re completing a quest
  • putting on shoes (its own battle)
  • opening the front door even though anxiety wants you barricaded inside
  • locking up and then immediately worrying you didn’t lock up
  • getting to the car
  • sitting there thinking “I could just… not go”
  • starting the engine anyway
  • navigating traffic, roundabouts, other drivers, all while barely holding it together
  • parking, getting out, walking into the building
  • pretending to be a functional human despite your brain being a screeching smoke alarm

 And then you do your job. And you come home. And your brain still goes: “yeah, regular day.”

 When really you climbed a mountain before 9am.

So we talked through treatment options. Weighed up a wellbeing course vs one-to-one exposure therapy. In the end, we decided to start with a remote 6-week wellbeing course - 2 hours a week, each session covering a theme (anxiety, low mood, sleep, self-esteem, self-identity). She said - and I agree - that while anxiety & agoraphobia are the headline problem right now, I’m actually struggling with all of the things the course touches on. So hopefully it’ll lift the baseline a bit before we dive into exposure therapy.

 (Also, neither of us particularly wanted to start exposure therapy during Christmas. Sensible boundaries.)

 The only downside: the course doesn’t start until the end of January :/

So… now we wait. And I try to remember that even when my stomach is imploding and my brain is screaming and I feel like a raw nerve with legs — I’m still doing the thing. I’m still showing up. I’m still here.

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kskitten

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